My most recent struggle lately has been insomnia. My anxiety will not allow me to sleep through the night. Usually, it takes me a couple hours to fall asleep and then a few hours later, I am woken up by anxiety and will be awake for a couple hours after that. Last night, though, I slept the whole night through. It was fantastic!
I've also begun to wonder about anxiety medications beginning to wear off. I don't know if it's possible or normal. I am hoping I am simply in a little phase that will go away soon because I really like the meds I'm on now. I have thought about seeing a therapist again to see if that can supplement my medications.
It's 2am and I cannot sleep due to my anxiety. I have a slight stomachache, which is then accompanied with the thoughts of being sick and dying (I generalize that statement, sick and dying, because, while it's overly dramatic, it does the descriptive trick.) I think it's probably obvious in my writing style compared to my last two posts, when I was not having anxiety attacks. I feel less inclined to care about grammar, punctuation, and my words.
This random phase of anxiety that is much more frequent kind of came out of nowhere. Nothing crazy in my life is happening, there are no changes, it is pretty normal. I don't see easily any triggers in front of me. I've even faced a huge fear of mine three times this year. Maybe... Maybe facing this year (and still not being over it) has increased my anxiety by giving me a renewed and fresher terrifying fear of the event. Maybe that's what's cause the increase in frequency. I'm sure I could talk this through with a therapist....
I am thinking about listening to guided meditation when I lay down to sleep and see if that will help me fall asleep easier. It seems at night my anxiety is at its worst. So I have anxiety and insomnia at night... I'm sure they go hand-in-hand. It's frustrating.
I am not sure if I mentioned this in either of my previous posts, but anxiety is a life long struggle and I will be dealing with it forever. It is in my DNA. This post is an example of the ways anxiety keeps evolving and the new struggles emerge.
So for the next week or so, I am going to focus on insomnia and sleeping the whole night through. I'll research natural remedies and activities that can help with this issue. I hope I find solutions that are beyond the obvious.
Til then,
LB
